THE LONGEST BLOG.....

This will be the longest blog. This is Stephanie's speech. So if you do not have time, you will not want to start reading....... and you may share a tear or two..... Here it goes:

"Mommy, why are you crying?" says the little girl. "Well honey, I just don't know what to do about your brother." "Do not worry, Mommy! God will take care of it." That little girl was me; never had I dreamed this would happen to me. I understood very little at the time what was going on.

My brother was born with hypoplastic left heart. This means two chambers of his heart were completely gone. His aorta was extremely small; and he had little chance of surviving. In fact chances were so slim that he would need a heart transplant. Every 10 years, you need a new heart transplant, so he would be on a waiting list for a heart all the time. The first year of his life would be filled with three open heart surgeries. Even with all of our technology, this was not a 100% sure thing he would live through his first year of his life, but if he happened to do so, doctors predicted he'd live to be three years old.

Mom and Dad were contemplating; they had so many choices to make. The one big choice they made was not operating, or not going through with the surgeries. My brother lived for three days, and died in my mother's arms. I remember looking up at the funeral at his tiny hands , all cold and purple, his little feet, not even the size of the palm in my hand. I remember all the tears shed. An innocent little boy's life taken, but he made so many accomplishments the three days he lived. Every single breath he that my brother took was an achievement. He felt more love in the three days he lived than what some people feel in a lifetime. Being so young, he was a good example of taking life for granite. He won the race to Heaven, never looking back, he ran hard and fast.

Is it the truth? Yes, my parents chose not to operate. Why operate on a little boy who will only live for three years of his life? Performing such procedures can not only affect the parents, but the child as well. Good parents do not always think about themselves, they think of what is best for their child. If my brother would have been operated on he would basically live at the hospital, why do that to a child? if you can be strong enough and think of what is best for a child, do not put them through life in a hospital.

Is it fair? If you do not operate, in my opinion, it is fair. My parents thought of my little brother they had enough love and strength for my brother to let him go. He would have lived a painful life. My parents would have more stress added to their life. The three days he spent with us my brother was hooked up to a feeding tube that went down his throat because he could not even eat on his own. Why do that to a child? Why make them live a life like that? If you truly love a child, you will think what is more fair th them, and not yourself.

Will it build good will and better friendships? First off, it was God's will. God's will is the only way, if God was ready for him to go, my brother was going to go not matter what, God controls life on earth, and the only way to receive eternal life is through Him. It was God's will, and what God says goes. No technology or doctor will interfere with God's choice. Finally, it brought our family closer together. We united and became dependent on each other. Our relationship as a whole was now refreshed. The love for each other is now endless, and withoud our family's support, it would have been difficult to make it through. Each person in the household had to encourage the others to never stop, but keep on going. Our relationship is now most important.

Will it be beneficial to all concerned? Sure it will. Foremost, it really helped my brother. He died an easy death, and did not have to fight. He died peacefully in the arms of my mother. My mother could not have shown my brother more love and comfort, and he died in the love of my mom's arms. This helped my mom by helping her to fully rely on God and His will. My father also found that in my brothers death, it taught him what a real father was and what he should do. He knew he loved my brother so much; he had to let him go. It showed him the true love he had as a parent. For me, I first learned to become more mature. Instantly, at four years old, I was put in an adult situation. My parents had explained to me what had happened. I knew, but never realized he was gone until the day I saw him in that casket. His feet and hands so clod and purple, I will never forget that moment. I kissed him on the forehead and told him I loved him and goodbye. I would never see him again. It was tough on me as a young one, but I learned how to deal with death. I had someone so close to me leave me; I know he is not really dead, because he is alive in my heart!

The three days he lived, he was an example to all. He was an amazing achievement, and I'll never forget that time I said "I love you bubby" and they closed the casket.


~Well that is it...... see why I am sooo proud :)